Life is short. We've all heard that phrase before. "Hey - you better go skydiving if you want to - life is short!" "Life is short. You better have a career you enjoy!" Life IS short. I know first hand how short it can be. In the blink of an eye - or in my case, in the manner of two weeks - everything can change. All those things you thought you would have time to do, you don't. You run out of time to say "I love you" or "I'm sorry". You can't get it back. Trust me. I've been willing to make a deal with just about anyone or anything if I could just go back and have one last moment. One last touch. One last kiss. One last I love you. I get irritated with people. I listen to friends complain about their significant other and I just want to scream some times. Especially when their gripes are so insignificant to the grand scheme of things. "I swear, if George leaves another dirty dish on the counter and doesn't rinse it off, I'm going to file for divorce!" While I mask my irritation with failed attempts at sympathy, inside I'm thinking - I would give anything to have Mike back so he could leave a dirty dish on the counter. Then there are those people that are truly in bad situations with their relationships and instead of doing something about it, they just settle, afraid of starting over. One day, they will wake up twenty years from now and realize they've just spent two decades in a fog of unhappiness and regret and that their life is passing before them and soon it will all be over and they can never get it back. No one's life is perfect, I understand that. We all have things that bother us or annoy us. But think about your life as a whole. If George were to get hit by a truck and unable to leave those dirty dishes on the counter, would you be happier? If you had to struggle for a few months to get your life back on track after getting out of a bad relationship, wouldn't that be better than spending years wishing things were different? I people watch. I always have. I think that's part of what makes me good at both my career (paralegal) and my passion (theater). I try to read people. Of late, I watch people and think about what they have going on in their life. I guess it's sort of a little step outside of my reality where I can remind myself that I'm not special or unique. Everyone has problems. Everyone has things that aren't right in their world. One thing I noticed, is how unhappy the general population is. The other day, for instance, I went to dinner alone. Oh - please don't say "that poor woman". I'm used to it. I eat alone every day. You adapt. Like a dog gets used to wearing its collar and eventually stops noticing it. Back to dinner. So I sit at the bar at a local restaurant - it isn't as pathetic when you're dining alone at the bar as it is when you have a huge table all to yourself - and I people watch and listen. Across the bar from me was a couple. They were tired of the wait for a table and decided to eat at the bar as well. I watched as these two people sat and did not say a single word to each other during their meal. For an hour, they said nothing. I take that back. I think she asked him how his steak was. He nodded. So I created a back story for them. Back story - for actors it's the information about the character that isn't written. It's what you do to create more depth to the character so you can get more out of him/her in the role. I thought to myself, now there are two people who have probably been together for a long time. They had their kids. Their kids grew up. They probably grew apart and their interests changed, especially after the kids left. Neither of them is happy in the relationship, however, at their age, they would never think of starting over. Neither of them even know why they're unhappy. They've just decided to settle. Then there was the woman sitting next to me who, in the twenty minutes they were waiting for their table, never said a single positive, upbeat thing. "Oh, I am so tired of my job. Did I tell you what my boss did the other day?" Then it was "I tell you what, Bobby's teacher better not send another note home with him. He's a good boy." I know you can't just up and quit your job or slap your kid's teacher for being mean, but maybe your boss was having a bad day or the teacher is just trying to help Bobby reach his full potential. I used to be one of those that always thought, in relationships, there was probably a better one out there. That the little idiosyncrasies of my beau were deal breakers. Even with Mike there were times I would get so frustrated with him for certain things. He was always late for everything. He rarely loaded the dishwasher. He slept most of the day and was awake most of the evening. I would get so irritated with him. Since his death in April, I realized that all of those things weren't deal breakers. They made him the person he was. I don't have regrets about my relationship with Mike, except one huge regret - that I would get irritated with him and that I never stopped myself from saying harsh words. I was unable back then to take it in stride and focus on the good stuff. You learn alot about yourself when faced with adversity. You learn that the world keeps spinning and people continue living their life even though you're dying inside. You learn to appreciate little things that you always took for granted - a hug, an I love you text, a companion, the Sunday newspaper crossword that you and he used to complete together, even the sound of his laugh and his snoring. You learn that life is short. I try to keep a positive outlook on life. I truly do. Mike wouldn't want me to just curl up in a ball and wait for death to come knocking on the door. There are times, however, that it isn't easy. I have to remind myself every day that Mike would want me to live my life and embrace it. To not give up doing those things I love to do. Mike would want me to laugh more than cry. He would want me to take away from this tragedy the concept of life being short. So my task to you dear reader is to stop and think about your life. Think of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Think about all those things that make you happy - maybe not all the time, but they make you happy just the same. Now, take a moment, close your eyes, and imagine your life without those happy things. Imagine a life without your soul mate. A life without your family and your friends. Imagine all of it being taken away from you and your life being changed. Scary thought isn't it? So the next time you are ready to divorce good ol' George for leaving his dirty dishes on the sink or his dirty underwear on the floor, stop yourself and remember that George is your happy thought. And life is nothing but frustrating and painful without your happy thoughts. Life is short. Live it. Love it. |
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